The Last First Day

I thought about introducing you all to Sebastian (my cat) today, but I didn't have time to figure out how to put pics in the post yet... But then I thought about writing this, so here goes...

Today is my last first day of going to class at the University of Rhode Island. I don't necessarily know how I feel about this. I started going to URI as a freshman in September of 2000. Yes, 2000. FOREVER ago. I remember what I wore on my first day: denim skirt, black sandals, breezy summer white button down shirt, and turquoise and silver jewelry. I started as a commuter student, as I lived about 20 minutes away from campus and my mom is a firm believer in not living on campus for your fist year. I rode in to campus with a woman who lived across the street from me who I had babysat for for a few years. She was a doctoral student, and I completely idolized her. We talked about the best way to drive, where to park, all of the important stuff.

I don't really remember anything else about the first day. But I do remember the first semester. and all of the semesters after that. I saw fliers on campus for the women's rugby club, which i thought was probably the coolest thing ever. So I went to a practice. I remember feeling so sick to my stomach before practice. I was a freshman again. What a crappy feeling. I wasn't necessarily popular in high school, but I was popular in my own right. I felt like underclassmen looked up to me. And now I was on the bottom of the pile again. Rugby practice was great, and for the next two years I spent my fall and spring saturday mornings running non-stop for 45 minutes in the mud and dirt, tackling other women and suffering pinch marks and fingernail bruises on my shoulders from the scrum. The day after my first game, I felt like I had been run over by a dump truck. But it was great! My mom always reacted in horror to my bruised shoulders, but my little brother, who was playing football at the time, would always compare his bruises to mine. It wasn't just about playing the game, though. I got drunk for the first time at homecoming with the team and was told that I "puked like a champ". We went away to new hampshire, florida, and sarnac lake. I had flings with rugby boys. I went to drink ups. I sang vulgar songs. I did a keg stand. Once. For a whole 18 seconds.

A girl that I met on the rugby team was also doing student senate, so I joined too. I was a general member. i found women that I looked up to, who were so grown up and fashionable and smart. I met a boy that i dated and broke up with. i became the external affairs chair, and then the director of communications. younger girls looked up to me. back to the top of the heap... I met friends who were great, especially all of my boys. and the boy that was almost, but didn't pan out. he's in new york, now.

some of the girls from senate wanted to start a sorority. there was drama. and confusion. and looks of scorn from other sorority members who couldn't understand why we wanted something different. we picked a name, colors, a philanthropy, wrote a mission statement. we were scared to death that when we asked other women to join us, they would laugh. we asked. they came. that was 5 years ago. i met some of the most amazing women through this experience, and the amazing women are still there. doing amazing things. hopefully they will be there forever.

I lived on campus for the second semester of my sophomore year with a friend. it didn't go well. I remember having a screaming fight with her in the main hall of the union.

i became an RA in my junior year. fourth floor gorham back. I had freshmen. and i loved most of them... I had a 'special friend', and then i met mike. lots of important, um, stuff happened in that dorm room. when i left it for the last time at the end of my first senior year, I cried. It felt just like when the seever's from growing pains moved all of their stuff out of there house so they could sell it. remember that episode? I remember being traumatized.

I commuted again for the first half of my last year (the fifth year) and then I moved back on campus to be a house manager in a sorority that had been kicked off campus, but the women were living there with transfer students and the house mom they hated. I remember seeing so many slutty outfits and dinners comprised of exactly 3 pieces of celery, 2 carrot sticks, and half a piece of cheese. No problem, more stuffed shells for me.... I remember deep discussions about tanning, bars, and fake ids that I couldn't seem to get away from. I remember when mike got locked out of my room in a pink towel from the shower...

I graduated in May of 2005 with a double major in history and anthropology, after thinking about business, pr, communications, and teaching. not bad, I guess. To be honest, I was terrified of graduating. I was at the top of the heap again. people looked up to me and respected me. i had some power. after five years i knew the campus like the back of my hand. it was great. and soon, i would have to start over again somewhere. or would I?

i looked for jobs for six months, and by january of 2006 I was enrolled again in the college student personnel program at URI. It's a master's program that will allow me to work in student affairs in higher ed. I became the alumni advisor for the sorority. i felt like I was home again.

now it's almost over. for reals. I only have one semester left. I already have my BA, and soon my MS form here, so the chances of me coming back to another degree are pretty much nil. and i probably won't get a job here, which is fine. i don't necessarily want to work here unless I get a dream job with great pay. which doesn't really happen around here. It's weird to think about not being here anymore. I've been here for twice as long i have been in high school. That's a long time. But I am also looking forward to a change. change is good.

So here's to the Last First Day.